God is so good!

God is so good to me!

Tough times call for tough measures.
Broken appliances stay broken, and that means no heat, and barely hot water to shower in.  Things were okay, until my heating pad (which I place at my feet to keep my body warm at night) broke, causing my nights to be miserable!

Well, after several days of this, my morale started plummeting, since sleeping, the best vacation I have, is no longer a pleasure, but a struggle, since it is so cold!  Well, through God's intervention on two levels, He shows me He cares and He is in control!

First, my mom, whom I love so much, gets into a car crash, where the car is totalled.  The crash itself is horrible to think of because it happened on the freeway,  (There was traffic, so people slowed down, but not the person behind Mom.  He tried to stop, couldn't, swerving uncontrollably, and then crashed into Mom.)   but to see the damage to the cars is awful!  Mom's car's back is smashed in.  The other person's car's front bumper completely fell off, smashed in, with the windshield shattered.

I thank God for protecting her.  He not only spared her life, He also protected her from serious bodily harm by all the added junk in her trunk!  Only a couple days before the accident, she placed huge steel platters and piles of 2x4s in her trunk to take to church, which I believe have absorbed most of the impact.

So in this He is showing He is in control.

Now, back to what I started saying at the beginning, my cold nights...
With the car accident, and loss of car, finances, which were already tight, became even more tight.  So, I didn't think we could afford to buy another heating pad~ but, on the way back home from church, the rain turns to snow!  It is snowing!!  Amazing!  Now I understand it was really my breathe that was frosting as I tried to keep warm at night! 

Well, anyways, what with the cold and snow, we both decide we must get a new heating pad!  So, we go to WalMart, and there's a good one, and it's not too expensive!  $20 is a good deal for happiness~

And I am soooo happy, my feet are toasty warm, though my nose is still cold~ :)

I wondered that night, did God make it snow to motivate us to go buy a heating pad?  Would God be so intimately involved in my day-to-day life?  Does God care that I couldn't sleep well at night because of the cold, when there are so much more people who are much colder than I am who don't have any shelter at all?  Would God change the weather pattern to influence my choices?  I do not know, but what I do know is this: God loves me, this I know, for the Bible and my experiences tell me so!

12 Long years 12 Short years

Jesus is walking through a crowd, where everyone is up against everyone else, trying to get closer to Jesus.  Then a woman, who's been suffering from bleeding for 12 years, touches his clothes, thinking if only she can touch His clothes, she'll be healed.  Jesus feels power going out of Him.  He then asks and waits until the woman reveals herself. 

Just this story by itself is wonderful.  Jesus healing a woman, restoring her emotionally, socially, and physically.  However, this is not the only aspect of this story.  Jairus, a prominent man, wealthy and powerful, had come to seek Jesus' help.  His daughter is dying.  Without Jesus, his daughter has no hope.  She has lived only 12 short years.

So, this is where we find Jesus, Jairus frantic to bring the Healer to his beloved daughter, when Jesus stops to heal a woman who could have waited 2 more hours, whereas, this young girl, another 20 minutes was too much to ask for.

Why does Jesus turn things around?  I do not know.  However, what I do know is this: Jesus always does the unexpected.  His timing is not our own, His thoughts are not our thoughts.  Yet, His timing is perfect, and His thoughts are wonderful! 

He loved all those involved to just give them what they sought.  He gave them more than they ever dreamed of, yet at the same time, took more than what they thought they could give.

The woman received a cure for her disease, yet, she also received a healing for her ostracization for the past 12 years of being impure.  She tried to be quiet and instead, she had to stand infront of the crowd to reveal her self.

The young girl's father wanted Jesus to save his daughter's life.  Yet, Jesus allows her to die.  However, this doesn't stop just there.  He brings back to life Jairus's daugter, restoring her back to her family.  He took more than Jairus bargained for, her life, and Jesus gave him more than he expected, her resurrection.

Jesus wants the best for us.  He gives and takes away, all for the glory of God who sent Him. 

I am thankful that Jesus is so interested in my personal life.  He is involved so personally, I am cherished and beloved. 

Jesus has my attention.  I look forward to what He will do in my life in 2011~  :)

Happy New Year.  May this year be a jubilee year, restoring what was lost, and rediscovering joy!

Depression

There are four roots to depression. 

1.  Physical (tired).  Solution: rest.

2.  Moral (guilt).  Solution: forgiveness.

3.  Psychological (chemical imbalance).  Solution: love.

4.  Spiritual (demon root).  Solution: Jesus.

In Mark 5:1-20, Jesus heals a man possessed by a Legion of demons.  A legion would have consisted anywhere between 3,500 to 8.000 individuals.  Jesus banishes the legion of demons with the same effort of banishing one demon, with His command.  This is because JEsus is the highest name, the highest power.  He is God.

Jesus knows the storm

In Mark 4:35-41, there's a story of Jesus who took a nap, a near disaster and a display of ultimate power.

Jesus grew tired and took a nap in the boat. 
A huge storm came upon them.  The people in the boat were seasoned fishermen, people who knew how to weather the storm.  They feared for their lives.  They woke Jesus up, asking him, "Do you not care that we are perishing?"  He then woke up and spoke to the wind and waves, "stop" and they were stilled.

A story most Christians have heard before, Jesus calms the storm.

A closer look shows something I've glossed over before~
They were afraid for their lives.  This storm was HUGE. 
Jesus is God, so He knew about this storm.  Yet, he allowed it to happen.
The people woke Jesus up, asking "Don't you care about us?!"
Then Jesus calmed the wind and waves.  If Jesus just calmed the wind, that could have been attributed to a change in the air pressure, or change in the highs and lows, etc.  However, for huge, devastatingly roiling water to become instantaneously still is impossible.  That's like dropping a rock in the water and smoothing all the ripples with the palm of your hand. 

So.  Jesus knows about the storms in our lives.  He allows them to happen, so we may see who He really is. 

I want to know Jesus.  More deeper and more closer.  Closer than even my skin.

Sigh~ this is why God said no and why I choose to obey Him!!

Boy said, "When you do find the next relationship, remember what I told you about it? When you get the same thoughts concerning him remember how you couldn't choose before and blamed God for your lack of trust to make your decision based on what you were seeing right before you. You will always be unsure of yourself if you trust what you think you know to be correct, especially when you think by praying you will make God conform to your will. God didn't tell you no, but I can guess who you were listening to and it wasn't God. When I do finally see you again, then you will see you passed by what God had blessed you with. This act of immaturity of you blocking me on facebook shows your heart and how you don't trust and you're making decisions based out of fear and nothing else. You're by yourself and you will be that way until you learn to trust and not try to manipulate God into choosing the "right" person for you. He wants you to choose."  

Girl replied, "I did choose."

I see sin...

Fighting and bickering....
nit-picking and bullying...

That's what I saw today.
Sin.

Sin is prevalent everywhere~ it is in everyone and in every motivation behind each action. 

The very best is always tainted with sin.

My very best is never good enough.

So~ why try?
Why interact with the world that is so hurtful and sinful?
What's the other option?
Death?  Whether it is physical or emotional, death is the end to the life God gave me.

Sin cannot win!  Jesus has already won!!  How can sin win when it has already lost?!
Sin pretends there's still a chance it'll win~ but Jesus won!  Completely and forever!!

That is why though there is sin everywhere, there is God's grace.  Though all I do is tainted with sin, in Jesus' name, I am clean.  Though my very best is never good enough, Jesus' is always the best. 

He calls me His.  I am His~ and He covers me.  He says, It Is Finished.  Period.
Now~ here on earth, His kingdom is here, but not yet completely.  His victory is won, but not yet realized~  It is the "already, and not yet" paradox... We are His, and yet, we are still here.  We are citizens of Heaven, yet, we still live on earth.  We are forgiven and declared righteous, and yet, we still sin.  :/

I await the day when the shackles of this earth lets loose and I fly into the arms of Jesus~ who's hands will wipe my tears and comfort me~ who's voice I long to hear, who's eyes I want to gaze into, who's arms I want to fall into~  Until then, my faith will be my ears and eyes, and my hope be the strong arms that wrap around me, holding me up.  :)  I know Jesus is here.  I know Jesus loves me.  I just want Him to come back soon~  I want Jesus to make everything right.  :)

Alone?

I felt so alone that I ached inside.
I thought I was all alone, surrounded by people~ all around me through this vast communication overload called the internet.  There are so many ways of communication: email, chatting, facebook, im, etc.  There are so many ways, and yet, I stared blankly at my wall~ wondering, where are my friends?  Who are my friends?

Am I alone?  No.  But do I feel alone?  Yes.
How do I go about changing that?  I started this week, by reaching out to others.  Saying hi to others first.  Both in real life and on the web. 
That's when my connections were strengthened.  Though these connections can never replace human-to-human contact, face -to-face time, still, this is a start. 

I am taking one more step.  I am going out of my way to meet up with the people that I've contacted.  Not all, though my heart wishes, my duties constrain me.  I lack time to do all that I want to do.  So, I'll take small steps.

First may quite possibly be a giant step~  I'm going to an art show/christmas party!  Yay!  It'll be something very new~  :)  Looking forward to it.  I wonder if I'll go alone~ well, even if I do go alone, there'll be someone I know there who'll be thrilled to see me~ and it's an opportunity to meet more people.  Who knows what these connections will lead to in the end?  God alone knows how He's going to use these connections.  I'm looking forward to the adventures He has in store for me! :)