Depression

There are four roots to depression. 

1.  Physical (tired).  Solution: rest.

2.  Moral (guilt).  Solution: forgiveness.

3.  Psychological (chemical imbalance).  Solution: love.

4.  Spiritual (demon root).  Solution: Jesus.

In Mark 5:1-20, Jesus heals a man possessed by a Legion of demons.  A legion would have consisted anywhere between 3,500 to 8.000 individuals.  Jesus banishes the legion of demons with the same effort of banishing one demon, with His command.  This is because JEsus is the highest name, the highest power.  He is God.

Jesus knows the storm

In Mark 4:35-41, there's a story of Jesus who took a nap, a near disaster and a display of ultimate power.

Jesus grew tired and took a nap in the boat. 
A huge storm came upon them.  The people in the boat were seasoned fishermen, people who knew how to weather the storm.  They feared for their lives.  They woke Jesus up, asking him, "Do you not care that we are perishing?"  He then woke up and spoke to the wind and waves, "stop" and they were stilled.

A story most Christians have heard before, Jesus calms the storm.

A closer look shows something I've glossed over before~
They were afraid for their lives.  This storm was HUGE. 
Jesus is God, so He knew about this storm.  Yet, he allowed it to happen.
The people woke Jesus up, asking "Don't you care about us?!"
Then Jesus calmed the wind and waves.  If Jesus just calmed the wind, that could have been attributed to a change in the air pressure, or change in the highs and lows, etc.  However, for huge, devastatingly roiling water to become instantaneously still is impossible.  That's like dropping a rock in the water and smoothing all the ripples with the palm of your hand. 

So.  Jesus knows about the storms in our lives.  He allows them to happen, so we may see who He really is. 

I want to know Jesus.  More deeper and more closer.  Closer than even my skin.

Sigh~ this is why God said no and why I choose to obey Him!!

Boy said, "When you do find the next relationship, remember what I told you about it? When you get the same thoughts concerning him remember how you couldn't choose before and blamed God for your lack of trust to make your decision based on what you were seeing right before you. You will always be unsure of yourself if you trust what you think you know to be correct, especially when you think by praying you will make God conform to your will. God didn't tell you no, but I can guess who you were listening to and it wasn't God. When I do finally see you again, then you will see you passed by what God had blessed you with. This act of immaturity of you blocking me on facebook shows your heart and how you don't trust and you're making decisions based out of fear and nothing else. You're by yourself and you will be that way until you learn to trust and not try to manipulate God into choosing the "right" person for you. He wants you to choose."  

Girl replied, "I did choose."

I see sin...

Fighting and bickering....
nit-picking and bullying...

That's what I saw today.
Sin.

Sin is prevalent everywhere~ it is in everyone and in every motivation behind each action. 

The very best is always tainted with sin.

My very best is never good enough.

So~ why try?
Why interact with the world that is so hurtful and sinful?
What's the other option?
Death?  Whether it is physical or emotional, death is the end to the life God gave me.

Sin cannot win!  Jesus has already won!!  How can sin win when it has already lost?!
Sin pretends there's still a chance it'll win~ but Jesus won!  Completely and forever!!

That is why though there is sin everywhere, there is God's grace.  Though all I do is tainted with sin, in Jesus' name, I am clean.  Though my very best is never good enough, Jesus' is always the best. 

He calls me His.  I am His~ and He covers me.  He says, It Is Finished.  Period.
Now~ here on earth, His kingdom is here, but not yet completely.  His victory is won, but not yet realized~  It is the "already, and not yet" paradox... We are His, and yet, we are still here.  We are citizens of Heaven, yet, we still live on earth.  We are forgiven and declared righteous, and yet, we still sin.  :/

I await the day when the shackles of this earth lets loose and I fly into the arms of Jesus~ who's hands will wipe my tears and comfort me~ who's voice I long to hear, who's eyes I want to gaze into, who's arms I want to fall into~  Until then, my faith will be my ears and eyes, and my hope be the strong arms that wrap around me, holding me up.  :)  I know Jesus is here.  I know Jesus loves me.  I just want Him to come back soon~  I want Jesus to make everything right.  :)

Alone?

I felt so alone that I ached inside.
I thought I was all alone, surrounded by people~ all around me through this vast communication overload called the internet.  There are so many ways of communication: email, chatting, facebook, im, etc.  There are so many ways, and yet, I stared blankly at my wall~ wondering, where are my friends?  Who are my friends?

Am I alone?  No.  But do I feel alone?  Yes.
How do I go about changing that?  I started this week, by reaching out to others.  Saying hi to others first.  Both in real life and on the web. 
That's when my connections were strengthened.  Though these connections can never replace human-to-human contact, face -to-face time, still, this is a start. 

I am taking one more step.  I am going out of my way to meet up with the people that I've contacted.  Not all, though my heart wishes, my duties constrain me.  I lack time to do all that I want to do.  So, I'll take small steps.

First may quite possibly be a giant step~  I'm going to an art show/christmas party!  Yay!  It'll be something very new~  :)  Looking forward to it.  I wonder if I'll go alone~ well, even if I do go alone, there'll be someone I know there who'll be thrilled to see me~ and it's an opportunity to meet more people.  Who knows what these connections will lead to in the end?  God alone knows how He's going to use these connections.  I'm looking forward to the adventures He has in store for me! :)

It Starts as a Seed

What did Jesus describe the Kingdom of Heaven as?  A small seed.  A mustard seed to be exact, the smallest of seeds which when sown, grows into a large tree with branches to give birds a home~

This reference is actually from the Old Testament~ referring to the Tree that will connect the earth to Heaven~ as the Ladder that Jacob saw on which he saw angels ascending and descending~

The seed is actually Jesus Christ Himself!  He is the one who had to die~ on a tree no less!  The tree, the cross, bridges the gap between Heaven and earth~

Jesus Himself connects us to God.  He replaced our sinfulness with His righteousness~ He exchanged His righteousness for our sinfulness~ the most unfair exchange in the history of creation!

Nonetheless, it is by Him and through Him that we are alive~
I am thankful I am alive in Him.  I am thankful that He is with me~

Especially in this time when everything reminds me of the one who loved me and the One who loves me best~ Sad because I had to let go of the one who loved me.  Joyful because I have the love of One who loved me from eternity past and into eternity future!  :)